Circle

I have been afraid to look into the mirror because of the unrecognisable person I might see. But when I do, I think he will be staring back at me, even though it will be his back facing me.

Disappointed and with an arched back, shivering and feeling betrayed, even unprotected by me, he will continue to be still. This for me will be like staring at my younger self, but one who knew better than the older me ever could.

Truth is that I cannot move on without facing him, and intently so. I cannot move on until I regain his trust again and that can only happen by digging into my own soul.

Only then will he regain a posture erect, and slightly begin to turn towards me. How I cannot wait for that moment. When I can stare into the mirror and let the tears fall; let all that has been holding me back fall into the basin then drain.

Until that moment arrives all I have is my voice and heart, even though meek and respectively shattered, but I shall use the 2 to reach his ears. And with each note delicately shaped and produced, I pray he can find it in his heart to forgive me. Then, I can be whole and happy again. Then I will regain trust in myself and love again. Then I will let go.