Façade

Yes! I am…

Brilliant, gorgeous, courageous and speak my mind

My mind alters, at times even incorrectly, all that my senses sense

And through which in rivers, information flows to reach the sea called my mind,

Sometimes pure, most times polluted by a history

The sea grows and waves are formed, rippling to areas not interested or party to all that’s around
That is how it is formed.
De-formed.
When all pouting and picture taking ceases,
And all that is left is a reflection of untrue reason,
Seasons gone moulding my beliefs of self, lying to save the poor reflection of I
FAÇADE!
Leaves from autumn, summer days gone but sunlight from then still alive
Winter within winter, and spring that sprang but one’s still springing in
All together to convince others that I am…
Brilliant, gorgeous, courageous and speak my mind
Yet continue running with the façade that all is true but not

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when I miss me,

I go through pictures of you.

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what is the point of having residence in your heart,

when in your house and in-between your daily dealings it is he you fuck?

The other side of Blue

I could see it,

The other side

As I lay there struggling but not trying anymore

I let the arms of the ocean hold me, instead of fighting and wanting and aiming

For my own way

I was in the deep blue, and as it appeared the other side seemed better

“One more time”,

Then I tried

And I woke-up on the other side

The other side of blue

Darker than what I saw and imagined,

Deeper

And from that point, looking back

“That blue was much better a hue”

FOR MY PRECIOUS

I never stopped seeing her,

Even as she lay there, eyes shut & motionless

The beauty in her eyes continued to shine but more brighter,

Blinding me of all that now was-

Nothing

According to the world and its meanings,

She was no longer

But to me she continued to be my “everything"

I was living in memory then as I am now, and

All I heard was our voices singing

All I saw was her silhouette brimming

All I felt was love, living

And as she lay there in the presence of sounds and cries

Some genuine & mostly happening because of the new ending

Some were sounds sounding off walls about her ending

And I stood there and all I saw was love

I wanted time alone with her, but of course could not get such

I wanted a moment to whisper to her one last time

And hold her, but that was out of line

All I did was look for a maximum of a couple of minutes

Cramming together a whole lifetime between siblings

Then I had to walk away and continue to live while my heart lay there,

Together with hers

But I never stopped seeing her,

And I never stopped hearing her

I never stopped speaking to her

I never stopped…

I continued with life but my garden lay bare

And with each day and night that passes

And I feel I might,

I remember that I’m alive because of her heart

It continues through me

And I don’t stop, I just continue to

 

FOR MY SISTER WHOSE LOVE STILL LIVES TODAY, EVEN THOUGH THE WORLD SAYS SHE DIED A DECADE AGO.